B.I.T.C.H.

[Stephanie]

now I'm pissed bc Sierra and matty are gonna get game move credit for spilling the beans to tom and Chelsea, making them look all sorts of trustworthy while I get left in the damn dust.

not to mention I still can't get away from fuckface crystal meth over here. her blazing speed is literally gonna drive me insane mostly bc the name is misleading for something I took last night at a party and also she's a fuckin prick.

but it's ok I asked her what she wanted me to tell cirie in jury for her lol

[Stephanie]

ok so i cant write a lot i have five minutes before i gotta go buttttt

this round i'll either be voting tom or crystal

crystal is the easy root where everyone comes together
tom is the hilarious one bc he talked about how f8 is always where he gets fucked over LOL i wanna make history repeat itself

it helps that i have the idol bc i know no one can save themselves

but like tbh i want tom gone first bc hes actually a threat compared to not very active not very nice not very interesting crystal

did i tell you guys that crystal called me a shrew?

well no she called me shrew but still like same thing right

varner is also trying to get us together to make us an f3 with joaq lol how random would that be. if i have time later to write more but i gotta go work my double now byeeee

[Stephanie]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i never have free time anymore i need to quit one of my three jobs tbh

[Stephanie]

ok so basically i have a few options

i will list them in order of most likely to mostly fantasy

1. stick with the wildcats. joaquin/sierra/matty/i worked very hard since the ozzy boot to remain in tact and somehow we have succeeded in convincing the other side to not take us out one by one which would've been the smartest move for literally any of them. and yet... here we are. majority. it could be so so so easy. but at this point so so boring? like. honestly. for how wild this game was and how insanely intense the first two rounds of merge were... i feel like sticking with this plan would literally put such a damper on the endgame entertainment value. i hate that half of me wants to be 100% loyal to the people i have grown to actually love, and the other half wants to betray them all purely for fun? whats wrong with me honestly.

2. stick with joaquin, but not sierra/matty. varner has been trying to work with me for a couple rounds now, and he puts up some great points.. such as the fact that matty will win this game in the end. and sierra would if he wasn't there. but with varner i'd decimate lmao and it would add such a level of fun to the last few rounds (which could take weeks bc this game HAS BEEN FOR SEVEN MONTHS I SWEAR but also varner said he thought he could beat me in the end and just for that i wanna stab him in the back asap lmao but he can't have the idol so i actually would still rather keep him around a bit. using the idol worked out for him in a way he didnt expect probably lol.

3. stick with joaquin, and no one else. joaquin is <3 and i wanna be in the end with him no matter what. sierra too, but for this possibility to be accurate she would not be eligible. what this would entail is joaquin and i flipping back and forth from now on. this round vote tom with everyone. next round vote matty with varner. next round vote varner to remove him after he thinks he has our trust. next round vote the non immune of sierra and chelsea. this of course could end with the same f3 as option 1 but in a much more fun and exciting way, but also with the betrayal of matty earlier than planned (since currently he's planned as 4th place in my mind, sorry buddy). of course... this would be the most fun. switching up the end game would just make these last few days so so so enjoyable, but also it could garner negative attention from the jury. if i flip on matty sierra has his vote for sure, but i think she has it regardless.

4. get voted out this round LOL thats pure fantasy i'm in this for the long haul

[Stephanie]

OK SCRATCH THAT BC SHIT'S A BREWIN' Y'ALL

Basically the way the final six is set up is this: three pairs - one of Sierra and Matty, one of Chelsea and Varner, and one of me and Joaquin. The way things have been going is Joaquin and I teaming up with Sierra and Matty to take out everyone else, and we have succeeded in convincing everyone else to literally do whatever we want? But now things are gonna change, because Sierra and Matty wouldn't budge on booting Tom in 8th, and Joaquin and I realize that the jury is getting stacked with their supporters.

Now, Sierra has told me before that she wants to cut Matty before final three. But Varner told me that Sierra has mentioned that to him too. WHICH IS NOT OKAY. Sierra, why would you EVER mention your endgame plans to someone not in them? Like?? No. You don't do that. And apparently, Matty and Sierra both have expressed worry about facing me in the finals.

Which is where I go against my better judgment and assume Varner is lying and shit stirring like he did the Ian boot round, and decide I want them out.

All three of them.

Chelsea has done nothing all game but follow Varner/Tom. The one time she tried to step out of their shadow to vote with us, we convinced the rest to vote the same way too. Besides that, she has done next to nothing.

Joaquin and I discussed this last night, and guess what? That's who we want sitting next to us in the finals. Not Sierra, not Matty, and definitely not Varner.

Nothing against any of them. In fact, it's a compliment to them all! Sierra has masterfully manipulated all her out of game friends into bending to her will. Matty has done an excellent job of being 100% likable and not stepping on anyone's toes. And Varner played the role of the ladle. He was always the spoon to stir the shit soup. None of those need to be in the end. All that'll do is take away votes from me, and I - unlike Tom, who came to have fun - am here to win.

Ultimately, I just want Joaq in the end with me. He's been my bae since Ian boot, and if it can't be me and Ozzy, I want it to be me and him.

Also, Ozzy willed me to make it to the end. He didn't will me to make it to the end with the Wildcats. Just to the end.

Sierra and Matty keep talking about how final four is right within our reach. But I don't think they're gonna see what's about to hit em.

Optimal boot order: Matty goes this round, followed by Sierra/Varner.. and then the other. I think it's smarter to boot Varner first so Chelsea isn't inclined to save him at f4. Either way, if we can pull that off, I'm so sure that I'll be sitting pretty in the finals.

Ain't it wild how a few weeks ago I was crying over the thought of having to boot Sierra? LOL and here I am, planning her demise. I'm a menace. <3

[Stephanie]

you guys will get one last confessional before this game ends. consider it my Jury Speaks/Day After video.

[Stephanie]

Well, it seems my journey here has come to an end. It was a surreal experience, to say the least. I definitely don't think I've ever experienced this crazy array of emotions in an org before. It's something unparalleled for me and the rest of the cast too I'm pretty sure. 

This season was heavily influenced by emotion. So I am in a way kind of glad that the game's most emotional player was the catalyst behind my elimination. Sierra was also who I was most emotionally connected to, which makes it all the more sweet. 

In my last confessional, I laid out the plans to turn on my alliance and steer myself to an easy endgame victory beside Joaq and Chelsea. To pull a Joaq and brag about past games, in the games I've won.. I always brought good competitors with me to the end. Always. So, going against that and stripping myself of those emotions that so strongly affected the game is ultimately what cost me the game. Instead of positioning myself for a win over two goats, I in turn set up Sierra for that same victory, which she would not have had against Varner, Matty, or myself. 

I can't say enough how weird this game was. Like, it was seriously insanely strange. Like if I had to compare this game to a Survivor contestant it would be Wanda Shirk. Really fucking weird but still adorable and likable. But mostly weird. And in a old lady school teacher dress.

God, I'm at a loss of words honestly. I'd had this whole big ending confessional planned, and it was packed with humor and wit and all the shit you enjoyed from me all season (lol I'm cocky whatever), but all I can write is... this. I don't know.

It really was wild to watch myself this game. I was so weird. Everyone was so weird. How did you pick this fucking cast. It's so fucking weird.

I do have to say, though, this cast was excellent. Entirely excellent. Bunch of grade A players and characters. Only people that were real let downs were the first two boots, John, and Joaq. Chelsea, although boring and lacking depth, was still an interesting player. I do miss her old flair, but nothing I can do about that.

God damn I'm seriously boring myself with this. I'm so sorry. I wish I could go out with a bang but after all the answers from Sierra and Chelsea (and the negligence from Joaq) I just... I'm just done. I'm ready to put this season behind me. Get me out of Luanne, Jeff.

I do look forward to returning to The Survivor Games. I think playing with people who aren't 100% emotions will be a nice and welcome change. I do expect to see several people from this season return, but I'm really fucking hoping it's not the same mushy lovefest as this when we do lmao.

Anyway.

I think that's all I have to say. Thanks to John for casting me and introducing me to one of my new favorite people, and thanks to all the PWs who liked my amazing confessionals and messaged me on varying medias that you were rooting for me. That fueled my desire to be better than everyone else. And it worked. I was better than everyone else.


And I still am.

BALENCIAGA, OUT ~