Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 3, 2015 20:33:36 GMT
He even went so far as to say that he doesn’t usually play to who people are outside a particular game, but he couldn’t help but to make an exception for me because he was so excited that we had ended up together. He has maintained this sentiment for the entire game thus far. More fool me? Girl, I know you hosted Twisted 3, but did you actually... WATCH it? Apparently not. APPARENTLY. NOT
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Mary
Junior Member
The twice and future Queen
Posts: 71
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Post by Mary on Jul 3, 2015 21:08:08 GMT
And y'all thought I was the villain. Smh
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Post by Carter on Jul 6, 2015 15:40:27 GMT
<3
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 7, 2015 10:30:33 GMT
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 7, 2015 11:03:07 GMT
Dear diary, I haven't written in 4 days omg </3 SORRY as usual. I don't even really have an excuse this time except that I was almost continuously drunk over the weekend which doesn't usually stop me from writing confessionals BUT ANYWAY HERE I AM So last vote went off without a hitch. So many things COULD have gone wrong, especially since we lied about Joaq having the idol, but somehow everything worked in our favour. Tom and Chelsea made a big deal out of wanting to make things up to Matty and I by voting with us, but I don't buy it at all, especially since they pulled Varner into it without consulting either of us (which obviously wasn't a problem since the idol was with us, but still). In a stroke of brilliant luck, the idol has fallen to Steph this round, which means we have options. I was thinking about it while I was cooking dinner tonight (lol) and I feel like it would benefit the Wildcats the most to get rid of either Tom or Chelsea this round. Crystal is a non-entity at the moment, and Varner is ineligible to receive the idol again, so getting rid of one of them would boost Wildcat idol chances to 66.67% next round (sweet odds). In addition, Chelsea, Tom and Varner are like an unbreakable trio, if not only because of Chelsea's weird attachment to the both of them. It's sad because I really like Chelsea and it'd break my heart to blindside her, but I think I actually really want to win this game and I can see her turning on me sooner rather than later. I won't jump to any conclusions before immunity results are released (ugh heavily luck-based challenges plz no), though. Looking forward, my ideal boot order is as follows: 8th: Chelsea/Tom 7th: Chelsea/Tom 6th: Crystal (we can split safely here) 5th: Varner ... and then everything gets a little messy. I have to admit that I am getting ahead of myself assuming that all of Joaq, Matty and Steph actually want this F4, anyway. They seem committed to it, but Steph constantly makes passing mentions about my threat status and how I'm probably going to win if I get to the end, and she also seems weirdly defensive of Crystal, which makes me think she might try to use her as a number later. I hate even thinking about her potentially turning on me because we've developed such a strong personal connection over the last couple of weeks, but I can tell that she's a wily player who is probably capable of separating her emotions from the game. Scary. Another thing: as mentioned previously, I also know that I cannot beat Matty at the end. Like, I can think of a few pitches that might set my game apart from his, but at the end of the day he is a triple threat and is playing a similar game to mine, but he's much less.. offensive? and doesn't have Cirie and Kimmi (probably) vehemently against him on the jury. He also won't have flat out betrayed the remaining Penedos, who probably maybe think I have their backs (or will pretend to so that they have an excuse to be offended if/when I vote them out). I ended up messaging him the other day after my previous confessional about this and talking about how I didn't feel like I could beat him and he kind of said he would be upset if he got final juror again but he wouldn't hold it against me. I then proceeded to feel gross about the fact that I had even thought about voting out my best ORG friend just to up my chances at winning a game when really, him winning should be just as rewarding as me winning. Am I really that kind of person? I don't know if I have the gall to do something like that. It seems petty. Realistically, if the F4 immunity challenge is endurance, the odds are hugely in his favour anyway because he's great with that kind of stuff (and I'm terrible.. my all-time record is literally 3 hours), and I can't help but feel like now that I've had that conversation with him, he'll be OK with not taking me to the end if he does win it. I don't want him to be OK with that, but that's selfish as fuck because I want him to be OK with me not taking him, but then I also don't because I would want to take him out of principle and UGH it's so ugly. I don't even know if I'll get that far so I don't know why I'm talking about this, but at this stage of the game I do feel like I could beat anyone left in an FTC (except Matty obviously). I need to not think that far forward, though, because every time I actively start thinking I might make it to the end, the F5 curse (or the F10 curse in the case of Good and Evil) catches up to me and snuffs my egotistical inferno. Ugh. This has been another nonsensical confessional with Sierra. Bye
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 9, 2015 0:28:03 GMT
Dear diary,
Looks like Crystal should be an easy boot here? Saves us pissing everyone off for another round which can only be a plus. I did have a nightmare last night that one of the Wildcats turned on me at F7 (but it was like real life and we were at like a college and it wasn't really Survivor idk) and I'm worried it was predicting the future omg. Unfortunately Joaq and Steph are determined to get rid of Tom this round because it would be "funny" (like yeah k it would be funny, but it's not worth it) and I don't know how to push back against them without annoying them (or annoying Steph at least, because she seems to like things going her way). ugh I guess there's a while before deadline though so we'll see what happens
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 9, 2015 13:32:27 GMT
Dear diary,
Steph is mad that we didn't end up voting Tom. She also tried to pin the blame on Joaquin and say that HE was the one who wanted to switch, when actually she pressured him to mention it in the Wildcats chat so that Matty and I would feel more inclined to go along with it. Thankfully they left it until a few minutes before the deadline, so Matty and I were able to just ignore it without it looking too suspicious. Cue this: Like, wth? What are these thinly veiled threats? If we didn't intend on sticking with Steph, she would've been gone ages ago. She then proceeded to tell Joaq that he was her #1 (lol), which lead me to tell him that she had essentially strongarmed me into an F2 deal which I was OK with until this point because ?? she's mad af and doesn't trust Matty and I anymore just because we wouldn't go along with her "funny" move that had immense potential to tank both of our chances at winning. Like, it was okay for her, because she isn't the one who's had to liaise with Penedo and secure their trust since the merge. I just don't know what she's doing and it's seriously starting to sketch me out. Check this shit out: Joaquin Souberbielle
The fact that like you guys not being willing to switch one vote made her distrust you entirely is really annoying Joaquin Souberbielle
She tells me I'm her #1 and then talks behind my back I don't trust her She could be being honest but who know so basically I decided that since she's being dodgy I'd go to Tom and tell him that Steph tried to get him booted this round because she thought it'd be "funny" and voiced concern that she would potentially try to flip the vote on me or Matty next TC. He responded saying that that was "what Varner was hoping for" (slimeball), but that "even if she tried it she wouldn't be able to gather the numbers because Chelsea likes us too much and he still has no intention of voting against us". I want to believe that Tom is being real with me and that he actually does want a F5 that has myself and Matty in it, but his track record isn't too good as far as being honest goes and I know he's a fucking sly ass "strategist" (read: bullshit artist) who probably at least suspects that we're just taking him for a ride even though we literally saved him this vote by preventing a 4 - 3 - 1. Matty and I discussed the option of letting Steph go if she continues to act up and just trying to get to F5 with Chelsea, Tom and Joaq, where we would ultimately have majority anyway. I'm honestly deeply conflicted about this because while Steph seems to kind of be losing her marbles game wise, I do really like her. We swapped Snapchats & numbers and so if we're not on AIM we're often snapping or txting instead which isn't usually a thing I do. My mindset in ORGs as far as people I don't know goes is generally that when I log off AIM/the boards I'm done with them until next time I'm actively "in the game", but Steph and I kind of clicked and we get along great. I can tell what kind of personality she has though and I feel like I saw this in-game drama coming from a mile away. I guess I just have to see how this next round plays out before I make any hasty decisions. OH also Matty is probably going on vacation in a week for like 10 days (SURPRISE. It's a Baltic cruise though, I'm wicked fucking jealous) and he very likely won't have internet @ all so that's a thing to consider lmfao
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 12, 2015 23:30:51 GMT
Dear diary,
Tom should be going this round and he knows it, but for some reason Chelsea and Varner seem okay with this and Tom isn't even scrambling (well, not to me, anyway). I'm choosing to believe it's because Chelsea & Varner legitimately think that they have an F4 set up with Steph & Joaq instead of working myself into a panic about them somehow orchestrating a plan to get rid of Matty. We can't even really idol Matty because we lied to everyone (including Steph) and said I had the idol, but I think the fact that everyone thinks I have it might be enough to scare them off of voting him because they'll assume I'm going to play it on him? Idk. Steph is telling Joaq they should stay the course and vote for Tom this round and decide whether to go with me/Matty or Chelsea/Varner next round. Most people seem to see the likely F6 as a 3-way split of duos, but it's actually more of a 3 - 2 - 1 as far as I'm concerned. Joaq, Matty and I aren't going to split from each other, Chelsea and Varner aren't likely to go against each other, and Steph is apparently going to be somewhere in the middle. Idk I'll theorize more once this round is over because it's giving me the creeps
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 13, 2015 8:02:43 GMT
Dear diary, I've been putting off seriously thinking about the end of the game for ages now, but it's time for some real talk. Here's what I would IDEALLY like to happen over the next few rounds, though a lot of it is pretty unlikely perfect world type stuff: F6: I win immunity. Chelsea has the idol and uses it. Steph decides she wants to flip on us and tells Joaquin. Joaquin, Matty and I vote Steph, and Steph, Chelsea and Varner vote Matty. I convince Chelsea to flip on the revote by telling her I will take her to the end with Joaquin (this is probably the most unlikely part, because she'll be immune from rocks anyway thanks to the idol. THIS IS MY DREAM WORLD THOUGH SO STFU). Steph goes. Alternatively, Matty or I get the idol and it gets played on Matty, getting rid of Steph. This isn't as good, though, because it means Chelsea is still eligible to get the idol at 5. F5: Only Matty, Joaquin and I are eligible to get the idol in the final round it can be used. Anyone but Varner wins immunity. Varner goes. F4: Matty doesn't win immunity. By this time he's hopefully on vacation and gets voted out because of it (that's the only reason I'd want Matty to go out because I'd feel shitty voting him out for purely strategic reasons). F3: Me, Chelsea, Joaq Realistically, there's almost no chance that it'll go down like that, but I think that's the path that would give me the best shot at winning the game. I'm more likely to end up in an F3 of Matty/me/Joaquin which would be the best for my heart because those 2 are my boys (<3), but I still don't think I can beat Matty unless his upcoming 10-day vacation absence has a major impact on people's impressions of him. Aside from that, I'm starting to get really cocky about my chances at winning and it's making me hate myself because ORG arrogance is gross. I just feel like I've played a better game than everyone else left. I guess it comes down to whether I can articulate it well enough, given that if I reach the F3 I imagine a lot of the jury will be soured on me (well, moreso than they already are. Hi Cirie and Kimmi!). I feel like I've manoeuvred myself exceptionally well since the very start of this game. I made bonds on original Penedo that set me up in the majority alliance, redirected the target on to Shane and organized his blindside when Osten and Varner (potential allies for me down the line) were targeted after our second loss, again became a part of the majority alliance on nuBarra after the first swap using my pre-existing relationship with Tom and newly formed relationships with Matty and John, orchestrated the Kimmi vote after Matty fucked up with Amber, survived Amber's temper tantrum and booted her, bounced back from the shitty second swap that resulted in me having to vote John out and convinced Steph and Joaq to turn on Crystal/Cirie and force a 2 - 2 - 2 tie to save me, survived Cirie's temper tantrum, somehow convinced OG Penedo that there was a possibility I was still with them post-merge after the Ozzy vote and had them let go of numbers in Shane and Crystal, and then Chelsea and Varner willingly let Tom go, putting me in the decidedly pretty positive position I'm in now. I've managed to hide my F2 deal with Joaquin from everyone but Matty who I openly told about it and as a result everyone seems to think he's a swing vote, when in fact I know he 100% has my back. I know not all of this is completely down to me, but I've had a bigger strategic role in the direction of my game in this ORG than I ever have before. On top of that I've won 2 individual immunities so far, was helpful in tribe challenges and have played a pretty strong social game. On the flipside, I've pissed off multiple people on the jury (in ways that Matty has not, for the record) and have made social and strategic blunders that have put me and/or my allies in danger more than once. I have no doubt that if I do make it to the end at least one person will bring up the pre-game bullshit and try to attribute my success in the game to my knowing people's identities and vice versa, but to be honest, I can't really help it if people know me, like me and think of me as a good ally to have? How could that possibly be a negative thing? Idkidk. I STILL feel like I'm getting ahead of myself even though we're getting closer and closer to the end. I feel like as long as me, Joaq and Matty all survive this round, there's no way I don't make it to FTC. If Joaq or Matty goes this round... lmfao I'll probably get 5th again and I think that might be enough to make me retire from ORGs after a grand total of 6 months playing. I'm not even going to entertain that thought right now though because it's too fucking depressing. GOTTA GO CHECK ON MY DINNER NOW BYE
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 13, 2015 10:08:18 GMT
UGH GUYS i just watched this and bawled my eyes out so i decided i would share it with my confessional
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 14, 2015 0:42:25 GMT
F6: Alternatively, Matty or I get the idol and it gets played on Matty, getting rid of Steph.
this happened but it feels so fucking bad man like I wanna cry
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 14, 2015 1:07:52 GMT
fml I really need immunity this round but I suck at these challenges mother have mercy
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 15, 2015 1:42:05 GMT
posting this here to remind me to write a confessional when i get back from class
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 15, 2015 9:18:51 GMT
Dear diary, We've reached THAT round. The evil round. The round that has marked my end game after game. This is the vote I have been dreading since the very start. I don't want to speak too soon, but I actually think I might make it through this one. Holy shit. It turns out maintaining a relationship with Chelsea was worth it. She has all the power this round, and she seems to honestly want to take me to the end (and I want to take her, too). My name is the only one that hasn't come up as a potential vote for this round. I can hardly believe it. I'm almost certain that if everything goes as planned this round, I'm pretty much guaranteed to make F3. I am unreasonably excited about this. It might seem lame, but it'll be my first FTC, and even though I think my chances of winning are kind of slim right now, it'll be a cool experience at the very least. I don't know exactly who will end up leaving this round. Chelsea wants to keep Varner because she needs a safety net at F4. She's worried that Joaq, Matty and I will take her out 3 - 1 if all three of us are still in, which is a totally valid fear, all things considered. I've promised Chelsea that I would never write her name down and I truly would stick to it and force a tie at F4 if it came down to it, but there's no real reason for her to lessen her chances at making the end by introducing the possibility of a tiebreaker, and it's not like she can know for sure that she can trust me, so I get it. She's therefore tossing up between Joaq and Matty. I'd obviously prefer for both Matty and Joaq to stay, because I've been ride or die with them for pretty much the whole game, but I feel like I have to be selfish this round for the sake of my own sanity, so I've told her I'll go along with whatever she chooses. I could probably convince her to play the idol on me (she's discussed the possibility with me and seemed very open to it) and then blindside Varner with Matty and Joaq, but I'm strangely attached to Chelsea and I couldn't possibly bring myself to do something like that to her at this stage. In Chelsea's eyes, there are different benefits to keeping each of them. She feels bad because she loves Matty as a person and he has never been to a FTC, so she wants to take him there this game, but she believes that none of us have a chance at beating him. She is also worried because Matty is stronger in challenges than Joaq, and he may well win F4 immunity and try to get rid of her. On the other hand, Joaq is probably perceived as an ineffective floater, so he'll be easier to beat at the end, and he doesn't appear to be a major challenge threat. It seems like she's having a massive "emotions vs game" conflict, which I totally feel (I've been through the same thing like a billion times in this game alone). I don't want to push her either way because I really can't bear the thought of voting out either of them, and it's killing me knowing that I'll have to. I know I've discussed the possibility of voting Matty out a few times throughout my confessionals, but I think a part of me just hoped that it would never come down to the point where I had to really think about it, let alone do it. It was foolish and way too hopeful of me to think that way, but I guess I just have to deal with it now. I've not seen Matty get this emotional over a game before (except for probably GvE9. I think that killed him inside a little, and for good reason), and it's just making it a million times harder. The last thing he said before he went to bed was that he was going to try and redirect the vote onto Joaq, who has already said he would be OK with leaving this round in order for Matty & I to do well, but he obviously feels terrible about it nonetheless. That's just the kind of person he is, and I can't say enough how much I fucking love that kid. Like, sometimes I'll be talking to him and I'll just think "how is it that someone so different from me is possibly one of my favourite people in the entire world" and idk he's just the best. I can be pretty terrible sometimes when it comes to expressing my feelings to people I care about, especially if they're less emotional and/or seemingly less invested than I am, so he probably only ever sees how I feel about him when he reads my confessionals post-game. CHRIS WHEN YOU READ THIS JUST KNOW I ADORE YOU AND I HOPE I KNOW YOU FOR A LONG TIME. Thank you for being not only the best ally ever in games, but the best friendbae ever out of them. <3 I've had this open for a good 3 hours now and while there's more I want to say, I can't be bothered thinking right now. Be back later <3
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Sierra
Sole Survivor
Posts: 437
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Post by Sierra on Jul 16, 2015 7:21:24 GMT
Dear diary, I feel like I should be happier about making F4. I mean, I'm stoked, because this is the farthest I've ever been in a game, but I'm starting to wonder whether it was worth the price of admission. I just cast a vote against, and had a hand in the elimination of, my best ORG friend. I hurt Steph, who I really adore and had a genuine connection with. I think I even may have upset stratbot Tom somehow, which is fucked. Chelsea and I vowed last round to never cast a vote for each other and if she keeps to that, there's no way I don't make FTC. I should be excited, but instead I'm scared as hell. I don't know why my emotions are in such a mess over a stupid game. Do I think that I've played the best game of everyone left? Almost definitely. Does that matter when half the jury is probably upset at me, especially if they're prone to vote bitterly? Nope. I honestly think a lot of the inevitable negativity against me isn't even justified from a game standpoint, but if the jurors think otherwise, then that's what it comes down to in the end. I feel like if I lose this game it will be because I handled a few key relationships in less than ideal ways, and that's fucked because my social game is meant to be my strong point. I just don't know anymore. What am I meant to do with myself?
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