OOC

[Tom]

This is a tough one. I am so conflicted in what I want to do right now. I want to vote Shane out. If nothing else than the sole reason that I promised Matty I would so so once Jamie left. And I meant it. But it just feels like I am being setup for a swift blindside now, or in the next round or two. Right now I am putting my entire trust in Matty. He wants Shane out. I want to stick by him. I think I will make sure Varner and Chelsea vote with me and put 4 votes on Shane at the very least. IF Sierra tries to pull a fast one and vote me, I have to believe that Matty won't betray me. Regardless of whether or not he knows who I am because FML for trying to win that last challenge and not paying attention to what was open in the background  But if Matty decides to turn on me right now it would suck and it would hurt a little. I would never hold it against him of course. But it would hurt nevertheless. 

What I am hoping will happen is a smooth Shane vote. Maybe even unanimous.(LOL. Wishful thinking). The debate for me right now is whether or not I should side with Varner, Chelsea, Shane, Crystal and try to force a move by idoling Shane, putting 5 votes on say Ozzy and hope that we either go to rocks or that we end up idoling correctly. But what that would do is completely destroy the trust there is between Matty and I. As for Sierra and I, well ...

Sierra Reed 

im actually so upset that i know that its u now because now im paranoid ur gonna try and kill me off

Thats so unfair  And that's exactly why I stuck to the shtick so hard. I have stuck by her side throughout this game knowing who she is and also knowing who Matty is. Heck I also suspected an out of game relation between John-Sierra and Jamie-Sierra and I still sided with her. Yet now that she knows its me I am suddenly going to be against her?? That's sad to hear and very disappointing. 

I am not sure what I am going to do at the end of the day. I already feel defeated tbh. Which sucks. IDK. I probably won't make up my mind till very close to deadline.

[Tom]

I think I am going to force a tie. If Varner and Chelsea agree that is. Chelsea seemed hesitant. And also said she would like to vote against Shane if we are idoling him. In order to stay in the good graces of Sierra and Matty. I think thats a bad move since we don't know for sure who they are voting. I think we need to stay 5 strong purely from a strategic point of view. On a personal level, I HATE having to lie to Matty. And Sierra. Sierra will likely go off on me. And I can't really say I won't deserve it. But I feel like I am backed in a corner here. Which is silly. This vote, by no means, would have been a be all end all. IDK. Fuck this is hard. 

[Tom]

I feel awful right now. I am going behind Matty and Sierra's backs and I feel terrible. EVen if this works I will feel terrible and if this doesn't I will feel terrible and on the outs. Whereas if I don't do this, I might end not only my own game, but the games of Varner, Chelsea most likely and surely Crystal. I am going to wrestle with this decision for 3 more hours

[Tom]

Jeff Varner 

Okay I'm at work and this phone needs to go away 

Just tell me what we are going to do and let's let it be 

Chelsea meissner 

^ 

We need to mad a decision 

Make* 

 

Big Tom

I am STILL conflicted  

But from a PURE game standpoint 

I think Varner should idol Shane 

and we should vote Ozzy 

And when Sierra gets mad 

You both can blame it on me 

I am alright with that

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! WHY DO I GOTTA BE THE WHITE KNIGHT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. AAKJHGAJHGALKHGLKJAHGLKAJHGALKHG9*)(*_(_(aJKLGAJNLGJPAUJ[

[Tom]

I do not enjoy doing this. Not one bit. Dont know where to go from here. I suck.

[Tom]

This will be long. And sappy. You have been warned.

I hate myself. I really do. I didn't enjoy yesterday whatsoever. At the time I thought it needed to be done. Not only for myself. But for Varner and Chelsea. To a lesser extent for Shane. As in I don't really care about Shane as much as I care about the others. Sierra told us all before the vote that she wanted an F5 of Sierra, Matty, Chelsea, Varner and I. We didn't know if she meant it or it was just a way to make us 5 not vote together. I had two choices. Take a leap of faith and put trust in Sierra and Matty. Or take control and put it in the hands of Varner, Chelsea and, to a slightly lesser extent, me. I chose to ignore my emotions and act on a pure game instinct. I am guilty of doing that a lot. And its not the first time I have done this to Sierra. And she is rightfully mad at me but I do genuinely want the same endgame that she wants this time. I want the Final 5 that she proposed yesterday. I have already lost this game so I want to see someone I like and care about win this game. But I do not know if I will have a say in what happens moving forward. And that just compounds everything and makes me feel even more terrible. Sierra really let me have it last night. And I deserve it all. I betrayed her trust and I choose to be a gamebot as opposed to letting emotions dictate my actions. Same with Matty. Matty told me that he understood why we did what we did but there was a breach of trust and he would have appreciated me coming to him and telling him straight up. And I should have trusted him to not tell Sierra. And I agreed but I just couldn't risk it  It would have put Varner and Chelsea at risk and I felt that would be unfair of me. 

Of course I did not take into account that Chelsea would cover her bases and tell Sierra what is happening a couple minutes before the vote. Its really funny because Varner came to me about 10 mins before deadline and said we should come clean to Sierra and Matty. I discouraged it because, in all honesty, its a wuss out. We decided to make a move. We should go through with it all the way and not try to be a pussy about it by telling people a couple minutes before deadline and such. Its like planning someone's murder for a whole day but just before inserting the knife into their back we tap their shoulder to say sorry. Thats not cool. Chelsea has been doing a few things that make me doubt her sometimes. So has Varner. And that sounds so messed up because I betrayed the trust of Sierra and Matty in order to side with Chelse and Varner. Whereas if I had stayed true to Sierra and Matty, everyone would have stayed happy and maybe even been fine game wise.

Moving ahead, I am not going against Sierra and Matty again. Not happening. No matter what Varner and Chelsea want. I am not doing that. I will flip all by myself if I have to. I am actually legitimately considering an F3 of Sierra, Matty and I. That would honestly be a dream come true for me. I have no idea how I can accomplish that. For starters neither of them trust me right now. And then that would involve having to vote against Chelsea. Which  Don't know if I can bring myself to do that. 

Then there is Shane being a douche as soon as results got posted. Made me so angry! I asked Varner if we can vote Shane next right then and there. But of course he said no. Varner has been getting shadier and shadier. I do not know where his head is at. I don't think he will come after me just yet. Heck he may want to go to the end with me because I am not getting Ozzy, Cirie, Steph and Joaq's votes at the end. Sierra and Matty likely won't vote me either. Kimmi ... IDK. Tossup. Jamie maybe would but not over Matty. So Varner would stick by me seeing my value as a goat. He would surely see Chelsea as an endgame threat that she is. My guess is Varner wants an F3 of me, Shane and him ideally. Shane is time bomb that will keep blowing and rub people the wrong way no matter how "entertaining" that is. But I am not going to go down that route. I made a promise to vote Shane out to Matty. And I meant it. I will fulfill that promise. Even if I have to flip all by myself right this round, I will side with Sierra, Matty, Steph and Joaq against Shane. 

At this point I just somehow want to feel better about myself. Not entirely sure how. I suck.

[Tom]

Sierra Reed 

she's (Chelsea) really playing up the "innocent follower in the shadow of 2 evil titans" thing

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I had a long and hard laugh at that last night. And today at many points during the day when I remembered it. Gotta love Keri.

[Tom]

This round had been painfully slow and boring and paranoid and silly and long and a drag and gosh darn it just taking fucking forever to be over with.

Yesterday I found out from Sierra that Shane has been telling Joaquin to play his idol if he has one and vote ol Tom. Tsk tsk. One round too early mate. And then when he hears that Matty and Sierra want to vote him he is surprised. Lolol. But I am still adamant with him that I won't be voting Sierra. I also threw in some BS that they would expect us to vote Sierra and idol her. He agreed as always but my trust in Shane is now at an all time low.

Sierra on the other hand, what can I say. At this point she will never believe anything I say. P sure she is itching for a chance to vote me out. I told her I am never voting her out. She didn't believe me. I also told Matty. I think Matty is the key here. Sierra doesn't understand but I think Matty does and he says he believes me. I don't think it is a 100% trust and when push comes to shove, he will choose Sierra over me. And that's fair. I have already betrayed him in this game too. But I mean it. I want an F3 of me Sierra and Matty. I more than likely lose but I am ok with that. This particular game is not a regular game for me. I had 2 reasons to play this game. 1 was to redeem my god awful performance in TSG as Hatch which I believe I have accomplished. 2nd was a chance to play with people I like but with a clean slate (hence the shtick). Of course playing towards a win will always be in the back of my mind. No matter how much I try to ignore it because I am weird like that. But at this point, winning is not a priority. I want to make things right and I will try my best. And if I don't succeed then so be it but you know, it's been a lot of fun playing Matty and Sierra. Ngl it was more fun before they knew who I was LOL. But I am content with what I have experienced so far in this game (sans the turmoil of F10. That was a momentary reappearance of the cold hearted bastard). If nothing else, it will make Keri very happy to vote me out again LOL

One other person I have yet to mention is Chelsea. I adore Chelsea a lot. She has very much been a trusted and dear friend and ally for me. Lately I have felt some distance from her but I still trust her more than everyone else in the game. Yesterday I told her I want to do what we didn't do at F10. Which is to put faith in Sierra and Matty and vote Shane out. She agreed. I was also told by Sierra and Matty that she showed them a Shane parchment. That was a curious thing to hear. Fake parchments are a risky and imo cheap way to lie. And chelsea doesn't strike me as the kind of person to do that. What was interesting was that she did that before she and I had talked about the vote. Which isn't too big of a concern. Just something to keep in the back of my mind.

Varner and Crystal have been MIA for yesterday and most of the day before. Varner and I did have a slightly lengthy discussion about Sierra and what to do moving forward. One thing about Varner and I is if this were a normal game, he would be my absolute closest ally who I would stick to until the absolute last possible minute when I had to vote him out. Sadly this isn't a regular game and while I enjoy talking to Varner a whole lot, about the game and otherwsie, I have to betray him. And that sucks but I have to do it. There is only room for 1 "evil titan" moving forward. And I am going to try my best to ensure that is me.

[Tom]

I am around 90% sure I am getting voted out tonight. I hope Keri at least enjoys it or it will be a damn shame and a waste. Chris too but I'd like to think he won't so much enjoy it as much as feel it's something that needed to be done. At least I improved on my Palawan placement. Even if it was just by 1 position.

[Tom]

Heyyyyyy. I made F8. WOOT WOOT!

[Tom]

Cirie and Shane bonding over hating me in ponderosa. I pray for the souls who have to bear witness to that.

[Tom]

Shady Shane 

You will not win this game. I hate you.

LOL. Womp womp.

[Tom]

I may have screwed myself by discussing a possible Joaq vote with Matty and Steph so soon. Now they could very well co-ordinate and make sure Joaq gets 21. I also told Matty what I was doing with my bids so I can't really lie about it at this point. IDT. Sheeesh!. RIP me.

[Tom]

Welp. Today's little chat with Matty made me think/realize he doesn't wanna go to the end with me. SIGH Gotta revert to the heartless monster if I wanna make it to the end now. I think. IDK. Today sucks.

[Tom]

Jul 7, 2015 20:10:12 GMT Tom said:

I may have screwed myself by discussing a possible Joaq vote with Matty and Steph so soon. Now they could very well co-ordinate and make sure Joaq gets 21. I also told Matty what I was doing with my bids so I can't really lie about it at this point. IDT. Sheeesh!. RIP me.

Results

The results are in and we have a clear winner. One person received exactly 21 coins and automatically won. That person is...

Congratulations Joaquin, you have won Immunity! You are safe from Tribal Council and have a guaranteed spot in the Final 7.

Tribal Council will be posted shortly.

______________________________________________

Totals

Chelsea- 7

Crystal - 7

Jeff - 0

Joaquin - 21

Matty - 14

Sierra - 9

Stephanie - 11

Tom - 3

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

FML