Jeff's Judgments - Round 7

[Jeff]

I am at my wits end with this challenge. Basically, I don't expect to win the individual immunity if/when we lose, but I definitely want to win my heat at least so I can continue to prove my worth in challenges. I'm hoping we do win this one though, but with my six attempts so far, it's not looking too great! I had a decent one, but I was just sitting at home and thought that maybe I could outdo myself...which then began the losing streak worse than that of the Oakland Raiders. I mean, I still think I should put up a better time than my best one so far, but really, I wasted a whole day doing this thing on multiple attempts and it is because I keep getting distracted. Maybe I don't feel it's so life or death for me, but you never do know.

I am beginning to feel slightly comfortable about my position. I'm not going to let that get to my head, but honestly, I'm not sure I see many bad things happening if we lose depending on who has this idol. I know Crystal won't have it, but I also know I don't and neither does Chelsea. So the fact it is out of our hands really sucks. I'm thinking that this may be the first round where the idol comes into play for me and where I make a decision based off it. I think to make things easier for me and probably for Chelsea, we need to side with the person who has the idol because that will remove the chance of getting blindsided by it.

I'm still not sure where Joaq and Crystal sit in terms of last Tribal we had and the results with Ian leaving. Things feel alright, but I also haven't talked to some of my tribe mates in what feels like days. Literally days. I've taken the days off where necessary (like after we won the challenge), but I'm hoping that won't result in anything negative. I haven't talked to Ozzy in what feels like forever though so I will likely send him a PM after this just to catch up and let him know we're still all good. It's important that I'm not anyone's target right now, but I feel that is likely to happen if I can't get on and talk to some of them and keep the relationships up. I'm not sure if Chelsea would be targeted over me or not. She certainly appears more threatening than me which is kind of what I want, but then they might see her as more valuable down the line. I have no idea.

I'm thinking more and more that if Chelsea and I continue to be seen as a duo in the game, things could go sour for us real quick. I talked with her today about future plans just to see where her head was at and I think she wants to get back with Tom and Sierra which is good. By the looks of that special thread Cirie made and Kimmi leaving, I'm going to venture that Sierra and Tom teamed up with old Novais (Jamie/Amber/Matty) and took out a Barra member in Kimmi/Cirie. Cirie seemed sure she was going, so maybe some sort of idol paranoia made them go for Kimmi. I don't know. But it's good to see that Novais/Penedo over there are together because as of right now, Penedo/Novais is together over here which means this upcoming merge could be looking pretty good for that big group. I'm not sure it will be so cut and dry, but I think my bonds with Ozzy and Steph are tighter than mine is with Crystal and Joaq compared to Chelsea. Maybe if we lose this round and go to Tribal, Chelsea and I should vote separately just to appear that we disagree and aren't so tightly aligned in the game. Something to think about if we don't want to be targeted hardcore for being a pair in the future.

Right now, I'm just hoping I will be able to focus enough to at least come out on top and pull up a point for my tribe. Ideally, we don't go to Tribal because that would force me and Chelsea to pick a side 100% and that could be detrimental come the merge. So I would hope we could just keep both Joaq/Crystal and Ozzy/Steph against each other and wanting us with them because that would bode better for us come merge.

[Jeff]

So we won immunity when I thought we honestly had no chance! I was completely amazed and happy! A big part of this round for me (seemingly going into a merge next round) is us not going to Tribal so I can keep both sides of my tribe happy with me. So, seeing us win was nothing short of perfect for me and also Jamie showed himself to be a huge challenge competitor which is good to note. (up to this point, my confessional has just been sitting open and unfinished for the past 2 hours. I have some serious ADD issues!)

Anyway, we won. It's great because I get to keep my cards closer to my chest. All is good. NOW, Amber freaks out on us and starts posting random crud all over the boards (which is why this has been sitting up for so long unfinished.) Of course, I'm egging this girl on to give as much information as possible because the more I know, the better things might be for me. Apparently I was right in thinking that Penedo/Novais were together except replace Amber with John Cody. Not sure how that happened at all, but Cirie seems like a real piece of work and if a majority was already formed with old Penedo/Novais, I could see where John would do the sensible thing and join up with them especially if his main connections on old Barra were with Joaq/Ian/Crystal.

Moving forward, I see this treemail as a merge thing. If this was another swap, I think it would just be dropped on us. Since I expect it to be a merge, we will find out when we get to the challenge. As for the type of challenge, it would seemingly be another endurance...again. I sure hope not. The second you bring out peanut butter, you better believe my fat ass will be in the water and eating a fat dip of that stuff! I highly doubt it would be yet another endurance challenge, but you never do know. I can't see why it would be beneficial to be on when it starts though. There are so many things running through my mind right now on this challenge, potential merge, and thinking ahead.

I'm trying to feel people out right now. Basically, I've been trusting Chelsea less and less as we go along because she doesn't open up to me. She seems so closed off. Like I have been trying to ask her what she wants to do in the future and she keeps giving me these responses that make me feel like she is just trying to avoid any definitive. (at this point, this confessional has been sitting open for 4+ hours) But she keeps saying things like "What do you think is best?" or "What do you think we should do?" Like I'm literally asking this girl what she would like to do as a partner in crime kind of thing. Genuinely asking. I'm not probing in order to throw her under the bus in a few rounds, I genuinely want to base what I do off what she wants to do. Talk with me, baby. Tell me what you WANT to do. I know what I want to do, I want to hear what you want to do. God, I just want to pick her up by the throat and shake the shit out of her. Scratch that though, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do, but I'm trying to get the feel of everyone to kind of plan my next move. Maybe I need to step up my social game a bit to start understanding what everyone wants to do and where they want to go.

But if this is indeed a merge, I would like to have my current tribe stick together at least for the first vote and take someone out from over there. I don't know who, but likely Matty or John C to eliminate any threats between me getting farther with old Penedo. I'm not sure there is anyone in the game I truly want to go to the end with right now, but out of everyone in the game, the people who have talked about sticking with me the most and doing something in the future is Joaquin and Ozzy. Kind of interesting because they're on opposite sides of the spectrum for me. I'm not sure if this tribe could stick together as I think we're kind of fractured, but if this is a merge, this first vote will be very telling and I hope to be immune for it so I can just feel everything out.

This game is undoubtedly going to get more and more messy as we go along and I'm here for it. I'm ready. I just need to be absolutely prepared to take this game over, but I have a feeling I will need to be a bit of a sleeper and take a back seat if I want to get farther. There are a lot of clear threats and I don't want to be one of them right now. It's still very early. I just need to sit back, be in everyone's good graces, and see who wants to go deep with me and kind of go where the loyalty takes me.