B.I.T.C.H.

[Stephanie]

Initial impressions: Crystal is awesome. Ian is wayyyy too peppy. Guac is cool but very bro-y and a little boring. Chelsea is kinda spacey, doesn't seem all here. Varner is funny. Osten is funny but tries very hard to achieve that.

Current impressions: Crystal is awesome. Ian is wayyyy too peppy and also thinks it's weird that I said "cool as balls" if I'm a guy (which I haven't confirmed my gender to him yet, so.) Guac is cool but very bro-y and a little boring. Chelsea is not really here, except when it comes to the challenge (I don't get how she can stay online literally all day at work.. she did that shit in Starz too. Always here.) Varner isn't as funny as I thought. Osten is my fav from Penisdo.

Also, just as Ozzy and I hoped, we were the sought after two in the middle. We formed an alliance with Ian/Crystal/Joaquin already, and then last night after we lost the challenge Osten approached for the same deal but with his original tribe. So, Ozzy and I determine how this tribe goes down.

Currently leaning with the old Barra as they seem like the most likely to stay with us. Chelsea literally advertised that she isn't trustworthy, Varner isn't around enough for my liking, and Osten came too late to really get good footing with us, but even if he had.. his tribemates don't help his case at all.

Ozzy and I wanted to vote Chelsea. Crystal wants to vote Osten. Ian and Joaq didn't mention anything. For whatever reason I think we're going with what Crystal wants, when Osten told me I could pick who to vote if I sided with them...

Honestly I really really wanna work with Osten but as he is too attached to his tribemates I can't see it happening really. The only way I could make it work is if we voted Osten, I let him know to play the idol or have it played on him, and hope they take out Crystal/Joaq/Ian... in which case Ozzy and I could get Chelsea out if we lose again, play the middle line, yknow? Like I really want Osten to stay but I don't wanna risk my neck to do it. But that's a move I'm seriously considering. Only thing is I couldn't vote with them because my alliance would know I flipped which couldn't be the case.

I got a lot of thinking to do today I guess.

Also I haven't slept in two days I was up all night watching OITNB and I may still be a little drunk who knows.

[JT]

Oitnb is the shit but I never finished season 2:(

[Fabio]

OITNB is the fucking shit

[Stephanie]

Okay yall I've been too busy working my three jobs and being perpetually drunk otherwise to write a confessional butttttttttttt

This round was crazy so far, the Barra 3 tried flipping to the Peneduo to get me out and the Peneduo wanna get Ian out but then Varner decided to go rogue and be a major fucking ass and fuck up plans by talking to Ian and Crystal about shit so now everyone is in this major fucking shit storm of who to vote.

I really hate this round especially because I've been busy as shit and can't defend myself like I'd like to.

Smartest thing is to eliminate Ian/Crystal. But they're good at challenges and Ian has the idol so Joaquin is good enough to damage their numbers. However I don't trust Varner as far as I can throw him, and I'm actually growing to like Chelsea in this game..... which is a total surprise. But basically everything that was solidified last round has been flipped. Ozzy and I are either gonna make a huge move, or I'm going home. There's no other option there.

So this could be my last confessional since I'm headed to work and after that I have a date. Who knows.

[Stephanie]

You guys literally do not understand the chaos of that round.

Okay let's start with post Osten vote. Chelsea gets on frantically asking who voted her. I tell her I don't know. I did of course know it was Ozzy but at this point in the game he's the Peter to my Jesus and Jeter isn't going against each other. So I tried to help her investigate but of course I didn't really do anything helpful.

Then Ian comes to me telling me that I'm his absolute favorite person in the cast, and I agree with him... but the weird thing is, I'm starting to believe he may be. He's always on, he's fun to talk to, and he's an absolute idiot. He's literally spent days trying to figure out my gender and I refused to let him know even though everyone else on the tribe knows I'm a big gay fucker. But I'm really really enjoying him and I'm glad we chose to side with barra instead of Penedo....

And thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn tribal is posted. I'm drunk and swimming and I come back to check my aim and Ian is so excited because he has the idol this round so we should have easy picking of Varner.

I'm like cool! Sounds good. Go back to swimming.

I come back and Ozzy is like "What the hell are you telling people!?" And I said... nothing I'm literally not even here.

But apparently Ian told Varner that I wanted him out, and that led Ian to tell him to vote for me.

So then a literal three hour clusterfuck of constant messaging goes down where Ian is pretending to be the nice guy and Varner is playing both sides and Ozzy is pissed at me for things I didn't do and Crystal, don't get me started on her passive aggressive ass I really can't fucking stand her anymore.

So after our giant clusterfuck Ozzy/Varner/Chelsea/I solidify to vote Ozzy's pick Joaq. Varner and I agree that's stupid, I especially don't want Joaq out because I like him on a personal level, especially compared to fucking Crystal and now Ian as well. But we don't tell Ozzy.

Then the next morning things are going down again, Ian is really bad at lying and I try to make him admit that he's voting me but he won't do it. Crystal calls me out on "starting shit between me and Ian" but bitch I literally WASN'T HERE. It's insane to me that the people who started the shit can't even admit that they started it. Whatever.

Varner/Chelsea waver but I sell them the whole Barra has too many numbers and Ian is the shit stirrer here that is causing chaos in the tribe and needs to go. Varner clicks hard with that, and we tell Ozzy we wanna do Ian. So we switch our votes to Ian. It's 4-3. This is a much bigger blindside than was originally planned since Joaq is a virtual nonfactor in the game whereas Ian is a huge presence, possibly the largest on our tribe. AND he has the idol. So it has to go down very particularly. 

I don't know if this actually affected anything, but right before I left I told Ian "it's gonna suck saying goodbye to such a pretty tribemate." The intention was for him to either not use the idol because Ian looks like a fucking gremlin, or either uses it on Joaq since he's gorgeous. And that's exactly what he did. I'd like to think I affected that but I'm sure I'm just fucking full of myself.

So I was on a date and afterwards I checked my phone and saw Ian played his idol and I was like WELL FUCK PREJURY HERE I COMEEEE but nah he played it on Joaq and now here we are a fourway with Novais/Penedo versus the two of Barra but I'm close with Joaq who wants to work with me and I hate fucking Crystal's fucking steroid using obnoxious ass. She can fuck right off.

Varner says I'm his favorite. We made a brochure about jellyfish. Ozzy is still my Jeter. That's all.

[Stephanie]

Can yall like ask me questions or comment on my game or how hot I am or something yall bore me

[Brandon]

ur pretty hot (Is that good?)

[Stephanie]

Jun 16, 2015 17:22:30 GMT Brandon said:

ur pretty hot (Is that good?)

thats a start i guess. try again. more emotion this time

[Stephanie]

I think you guys hate me

[Fabio]

hey lol

[Stephanie]

shut up savage

[Fabio]

And u wonder why we hate you!!

[Jaclyn Schultz]

ur super hot wanna get married babe

[Stephanie]

1 who r u
2 u were so underrated in sjds
3 yes

[Fabio]

Watch out jac, steph has super aids